Stop Blaming Outside Forces

It can be so easy to blame outside forces for things that sometimes we place blame without even realizing what we’re doing.

For example, when I first got into debt, I put things on a credit card because I thought I had to. My husband had to go to his grandfather’s funeral, I had to get the clutch replaced in my car, etc. Then I sat back and blamed my debt on those outside forces.

The reality though was that we didn’t have to do either of those things. We chose to do them. If we’d acknowledged to ourselves that we were making a choice, we might have given things more thought. Maybe we would have even chosen differently.

The same thing happens on a more insidious level too. The other day I was whining about how little time I had to do the things I want to do. I blamed my lack of time on all kinds of things, all of which were outside my control.

Then it struck me that I was just sitting around whining. The problem wasn’t the outside forces. It was me. And that’s good news, because I can change me.

When we accept responsibility for our actions and inactions, we recognize the power we already have within our lives.


  • Isn’t there a proverb or bible verse or something that boils down to “you can’t change others, but you can change yourself.” I’m a big believer in this since I really do control my happiness…when my car brakes down, I can choose to freak out or I can choose to stay calm and friendly. It’s eye opening.

  • I love it. I hate whinning almost as much as I hate debt. I’m glad you realized that you are in control and can change. Whinning has never solved a problem. It’s made problems worse for some people, but I can’t recall any cases that whinning was the positive force behind resolving an issue.

  • Each of us is the author of our life. No one bears responsibility for how each chapter turns out other than ourselves. Whether we are the hero, the villain, the chump, the stooge, theself-deluder, the philanthropist, the successful mom or dad, etc. depends on our decisions and actions. As the saying goes: the harder I work the luckier I get.

  • It takes self awareness and wisdom to takes responsibility for our actions. If we are not aware of our propensity to blame outside forces for our errors, we will continue to commit the same mistakes. :-)