Nobody Cares About Your Future as Much as You Do (With the Possible Exception of Your Mother)
It’s just human nature. Nobody cares about your future as much as you do — with the possible exception of your mother or family members who share your home.
That’s because no one else has the same vested interest in your future as you do. No one’s living your life except you.
Think about it. Does your boss care if you realize your maximum earnings potential? Almost certainly not. While your boss may like and care about you, chances are what you can do as an employee and the bottom line are more important from their perspective than your long-term financial future. The same goes for whether or not you are offered a raise. Whether or not you get a raise matters a whole lot more to you than it does to the place you work for.
If you’ve been working hard and feel you deserve a raise, don’t sit around waiting for your company to offer it to you. Prepare your case and then bring up the subject yourself. If you’re told that raises are on hold for x amount of time, make a note in your calendar to check back again later. You are the one the raise will impact the most, so you are the one that needs to be sure that you get it.
What if you just can’t grow any more at your current company, either financially or skills-wise? Move on to something that’s better for you. Yes, you are a valued employee, and hopefully your current employer appreciates you. But that doesn’t mean you should stagnate out of a sense of guilt or obligation. Put your own future first.
What about banks and other businesses? While they may talk about “valuing you” it’s always “as a customer”. Of course they value you as a customer; they need customers to survive. Yet advertisements are often geared toward making you feel as though they really care about you personally. (Making you more likely to continue to be a customer.)
It’s good business sense, but if you’re not careful it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that their suggested products may not always be in your best interest. Don’t ask the fox for advice on guarding the hen house. Instead, get multiple quotes for big purchases, and seek outside sources for advice on things that will impact your financial future. Remember that you are the only one who can really determine whether or not something is in your best interest.
This is so true. No one cares about you as much as you do. It’s not selfish to say this, either.
As women, we sometimes fall into the trap of just taking the first offer that’s given to us with no negotiation and are expected to be grateful.
Times have changed, and if you don’t raise your hand, you won’t get picked. There’s no use stewing about it, do something about your situation.
Your co-workers are just that, co-workers. Don’t think that they are friends. Go for the better job with more money and opportunities and make new friends. Easy to say, hard to do, I know. But, the more you respect yourself, the more you tell others to respect you.
Karen
Karen, that’s true. It didn’t even occur to me to negotiate on a salary until recently.
Whether its your finances, whether its a relationship, whether its your career…..you’ve always got to look out for #1.
David, it’s funny but when I read the phrase “look out for #1” I felt a little selfish, but really taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s common sense.
I totally agree. No one cares except you. Only you care so much about something you want in your life.
Kristina, I wouldn’t say that no one cares except you. I see it more as most people care more about their own lives than your own. (Since of course we’re all most involved in our own lives…)
There’s good self-ish and bad selfish (which is probably really narcissism, arrogance or ignorance)… I think the good selfish is probably the foundation of all service and helping- others, etc. anyway. We have to have a solid foundation in our own lives before being able to effectively lead/ help/ be an example to others. True self-caring will be beyond a gender issue, as well (where old stereotypes polarize extremes on the self-ish/self-“less” spectrum).
MoneyEnergy, exactly. It’s like putting on your own mask on an airplane before helping others around you.