Money and Relationships

Money and relationships. They’re intertwined in many ways, even if you only think about your own relationship with money.

What does money mean to you? Is it security, power, lack, fun, or something else entirely? It could even be a combination of things, which seems likely because both money and relationships are complicated things.

How you think about money (and the history of your relationship with it) affects your actions and reactions as well.

If you grew up poor, maybe having financial security is more important to you. If you grew up in an environment where the things you wanted just appeared, maybe you aren’t aware of what’s required to provide those things. Or maybe you’re in a family where you handle all the finances, and your spouse or significant other is in the dark.

Regardless of your history, it can be useful to see what beliefs you’re holding and how they might be impacting your current actions. Do you agree?


  • Unfortunately money is a part of life. Personally I’ve had a lot of money and I’ve had no money. Through either of those situations I have always maintained a passion for doing something productive and useful to society.

    I love helping people and will do that regardless of money.

  • I absolutely agree. I think it’s also important to ask why we want certain things (that, of course, cost money). Why do you want to be a homeowner? Why do you want that dress? In the end, we might discover that what we want is security (can you really *buy* that?) or attention or…fill in the blank. I’ve discovered that if I stop and ask myself why I want something, the answer can usually be found in something other than spending money. Oddly enough, that want usually stems from some childhood learning around money–parents soothing with a new toy, etc.

  • Jackie

    Jason, so you don’t think that the way you feel about money affects your actions or reactions? Or maybe you kind of disregard money? I’m not sure what you meant.

    CF, asking why we want things is an excellent idea. Hm, I mostly want food. I need to think about what that means…

  • I do agree. I also think that before entering into any serious relationship with someone else, namely marriage, that an open and honest discussion of the topic is a “must-do” to ensure the success of the relationship.

    You are setting yourself up for failure if you do not at least talk about the subject with your significant other.

    Great post

  • David, you are so right about discussing money being a must-do when entering a serious relationship. Unfortunately people are willing to overlook at lot at that stage, so sometimes it doesn’t get done.

  • Money to me is security and freedom. The security in knowing that you will always have food in your mouth and a roof above your head, and that your children will be taken care of even if you weren’t there someday; and the freedom to enjoy your life doing what’s important to you, be it travelling the world or giving to charity.

  • thriftygal, I think it represents pretty much the same things to me.

  • Daddy Paul

    Money is the root of all marital problems, almost!

  • Daddy Paul, it sure is an issue in a ton of them, that’s for sure.