What kind of talks do you give yourself about money? Be honest: Are they pep talks or whines? (Or maybe a little bit of both?)

What you say to yourself (and others) about money matters, so start hearing your words. As you start noticing the way you talk about money, remember you can always change your words and actions if you don’t like what you hear.

I’m not the only one who believes it matters, either. Dorethia Conner wrote #MoneyChat THE BOOK to help others get out of debt, manage their money, and create financial security.

Her book is clear, engaging, and actionable. (As creator of the Pay Off Debt app, the “Don’t manage your debt, get rid of it!” chapter heading produced an immediate Yes! in my book.) Dorethia’s pretty cool too! So here’s a little Q&A with her about #MoneyChat THE BOOK, which officially launched today on Amazon. Check it out :)

Can you give us an example of a #MoneyChat?

MoneyChat’s are the conversations we all have with friends, colleagues and family at lunch, at the coffee shop, in the car, during game night…do you join the pity party or bring positivity to the conversation? Are you sharing the wisdom you have learned or keeping it to yourself? Are you educating those in your household on successful money management?

What prompted you to write #MoneyChat: THE BOOK?

The catalyst for the #MoneyChat movement was the Twitter chat, followed by the site and workshops.. After doing those for a few years, I decided it was time to put on paper some of the reoccurring topics I heard during the chats and in my financial coaching practice. Most people wanted to get out of the debt hole and learn successful money management so that they could save, invest, retire and create college funds for their kids.

I want people to know we are all in this together and there is no judgment. Highlight, dog ear and underline the things in this book that resonate with you and follow the action plans that are throughout each chapter.

Why was it so important to include action plans?

When I was learning about personal finance I hated to hear things like ‘live beneath your means’ because I didn’t know how to. I was already as low as I could go. After you tell someone what to do, you have to tell them how. I have action steps throughout the book to help readers make it happen in their finances.

Let’s talk about money & relationships. At what point should folks discuss money in a relationship?

I think it should be brought up in general conversation when dating, maybe by discussing a magazine or news article. This allows you to get a feel for their mindset. Don’t run if their mindset is not like yours, these are things you can work on together – and who’s to say you’re right? I would not discuss how much money either makes, trust funds, etc. until it was clear that you were exclusive and committed.

Once you are engaged, it’s definitely time to have several conversations about your financial life plan together, investments, savings, joining accounts or not. What are each of your money goals over the next 5, 10, 20 years? ALL debts should be laid on the table, credit reports too. No one should be blindsided going into a marriage.

And once you are married, there should be ongoing conversations, and monthly or quarterly checkups in addition to your budget meetings. Long term financial plans should be revisited annually to ensure you are on track and adjust where needed.

What happens when folks in a relationship aren’t on the same page financially?

Things like constantly making poor decisions or blowing money happens a lot in marriages and committed relationships. I definitely suggest counseling, but you also have to have common sense. If you have truly tried everything you can, it’s time to separate the money and take your name off anything joint that you have while you work through this issue.

Thanks for answering a few questions about the book. How can people connect with you and learn more about it?

You can sign up to get a free chapter of the book, join the #MoneyChat Facebook group, or follow me on Twitter @MoneyChatLIVE & @DorethiaConner. Of course you can also get the book on Amazon.