What’s Holding You Back?

Have you ever said to yourself, “Oh, I really should do ______”, but then you don’t follow through?

The blank could contain pretty much anything, but usually it’s something we know would be good for us. For example, we may know we should stop carrying a balance on our credit cards, stop spending so much money, or start living on a budget.

But something holds us back.

I have that problem with exercise. I know I should do it, and I know it’s good for me. I even want to do it, intellectually. It’s just that I haven’t been very good at following through consistently on a long-term basis.

Well, you know what? I’m tired of holding myself back.

So I sat down and figured out what the barriers were.

In other words, I indulged in a huge whine-fest, but instead of just whining and feeling bad, I actually listened to what I was whining about and then looked for solutions.

For example, I find exercising really, really boring. Why is it boring? Because it’s in a gym. I do not like exercising for the sake of exercising. Give me a treadmill and I’m ready to quit after 5 minutes. It’s torture. Give me a city to explore and I can (literally!) walk around for 10 hours and love it. (Although my feet may not agree.)

So I need to find something to do that holds my attention and gives me a workout in the process. OK, that’s one barrier down. Then I moved on to the next one.

You can do the same kind of things for money-related “shoulds”. (It’s funny how similar money, diet, and exercise can be.)

What if what I felt I “should” do was live on a budget? What are the barriers to that? For me it’s an emotional one. I don’t even like typing the words “live on a budget”. In fact, I don’t have a budget. A budget makes me feel all controlled and restricted. But a spending plan is right up my alley. I enjoy planning out what I want to do with my money, and then doing it and making stuff happen. How fun is that? (Of course, that’s a budget. Shhh.)

Now not everything is going to be as easy as renaming “budget” to “spending plan”, but sometimes that’s all it takes — a little mental adjustment.

Figure out what’s holding you back. You’ll probably have to go beyond the first thing that pops into your head. Whine for a while, and write them all down. Then take a look at what they have in common, and what some possible solutions might be. Keep going until “yes but” no longer pops into your head.