Do a Google search for the phrase “fear of success” and you’ll come back with something like 32,600,000 results. Obviously there’s a lot of information out there on the problem, presumably because there are a lot of people out there with that problem.

Are you one of them?

I was.

Two things changed for me though. One was completely unexpected: I signed up for something called release point therapy, which was supposed to release stress and tension in the body and be vaguely similar to massage. The very first time I went turned out to be a life changing experience. It did release stress in my body, but it also affected me emotionally. Suddenly, I knew I could do those things I’d been wanting to do for so long. I sure am glad I went.

The other thing that changed was more recent. I was wondering why I’d been afraid of success for so long. I’d thought about this before, of course, in an effort to stop being afraid, but nothing had ever made any sense. After all, what would happen if I became successful? I’d be able to do the things I wanted to do and enjoy life more. Nothing to be afraid of there, right?

But this time it hit me, and maybe it’ll hit you too.

I thought back to some of the things I’d worked really hard on as a kid, and how I felt afterward. I was happy with what I’d done. I felt good. I was successful. Once a teacher even put something I’d drawn (and worked on for days) up on the wall.

Another kid came along and tore it up, leaving it hanging in shreds.

I cried when I saw it. All my hard work on something I’d really enjoyed and was proud of, and a complete stranger tore it to pieces? Why would they DO that?

That IS the kind of thing that happens sometimes to people who are successful. Think of movie stars, and all the gossip columns and detractors. Think of great comedians, with a heckler shouting from the audience.

The thing is, people are human, and their natural reaction to other people’s success is often to feel not-so-great inside. THEY want to be successful too. Maybe they want attention. Maybe they feel inadequate, or jealous, or whatever, in addition to or instead of being happy for you.

So their response to your success may be less than enthusiastic, at best. Sometimes the response is downright unpleasant. They try to tear you (or your work) down.

Maybe a fear of success is really a fear of being disliked or of dealing with unpleasantness. The thing is, even when we’re not successful, there will be people out there who dislike us or who are unpleasant. We may as well go ahead and succeed.

It’s been three month’s since the big goal-setting and resolution-making extravaganza that is New Year’s. How are your goals coming along? I have to write mine down, both because doing so helps me to achieve them, and well, so I don’t forget what they even were!

It also helps to review them regularly, so here’s how I’ve done on my goals so far this year:

• Finish funding my 2009 Roth IRA – Almost there! I could have polished this one off this month, but went ahead and made a contribution to my 2010 IRA instead because it was just easier to do it that way.

• Fully fund my 2010 IRA – Barely started on this one.

• Pay a minimum of $35 extra per month toward mortgage, and send additional as well – Making good progress here.

• Increase my income by at least 100% – Still working on this one.

• Reduce minimum regular expenses to $1800 or less – Not really happening.

• Practice moderation – This is probably the hardest one here. I need to set up some sort of measure so that I can see if I’m accomplishing it or not.

• Try something different every month this year – I’m doing OK on this one, although I still need to try something new for this month.

• Build up to exercising 2-3 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time – Hm. Working on this.

For years now, one of my goals has been to focus.

I have all kinds of quotes about the power of focus, and I know that you get a whole lot further with something if you can focus on it and make it a priority.

In fact, one of my favorite focus-related quotes is:

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.”
~Swami Vivekananda

So I was excited when I saw the link to the Prioritizer that Consciously Frugal had in her post about prioritizing goals.

“Great!” I thought, “Maybe it’ll confirm what feels like the priority to me, if I have to pick one.”

The Prioritizer turned out to be a fickle little thing, only working when I just entered a single word for each goal, but what it eventually spit out was this:

Yup, three out of my four major money-related goals (get my business very profitable, pay off our house, take some expensive trips, and have enough money for retirement) were tied for my #1 priority.

I saw that and laughed, because it’s so typical. I just can’t decide, and you know what, that’s ok. I’ll probably get to all of the goals a little slower, but I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to focus when in fact I am a hummingbird.

It’s time to just go with who I am, and maximize the advantages that brings me. There ARE some, really. Maybe I should stick to one garden as I buzz from flower to flower, but that’s enough of a focus to still make steady progress.

Focusing IS the best way to really make significant progress. When you put all your energy into one thing, you go a whole lot further (and certainly a lot whole lot faster).

But if you’re like me and you’re just not built for focusing long term on a single thing, maybe you’ll join me in implementing some things I read about in Daniel Pink’s book Drive: FedEx Days and 20-percent time.

FedEx Days are what an Australian company called Atlassian has on occasion. They’re days when their employees can work on whatever they like, but they have to produce the results the next day. (Get it? Overnight.)

20-percent time is similar. Google offers 20-percent time as one of their perks. Their jobs page explains, “We offer our engineers “20-percent time” so that they’re free to work on what they’re really passionate about. Google Suggest, AdSense for Content and Orkut are among the many products of this perk.” So basically 20% of the time, they’re working on whatever strikes their fancy.

Letting your creativity fly like that probably makes the things you’re already doing a whole lot more interesting as well. There’s something about a little inspiration that livens up your life.

Anyone up for being a hummingbird with me?